Deepening Gratitude

I thought about writing my own comments on how I relate to this Psalm — in sum: my gratitude for the Lord saving me & all that He has done for me, & how I can relate to nearly every single line in specific ways, but then I decided (& to be honest am feeling a little too lazy at the moment) that I’d instead let God use this however He would so perfectly do so in order to speak to your heart in whatever way God intends it just for you without sharing much of my own input.

Psalm 116

1 I love the LORD, for He heard my voice;
He heard my cry for mercy.
2 Because He turned His ear to me,
I will call on Him as long as I live.

3 The cords of death entangled me,
the anguish of the grave came upon me;
I was overcome by trouble and sorrow.
4 Then I called on the Name of the LORD :
“O LORD, save me!”

5 The LORD is gracious and righteous;
our God is full of compassion.
6 The LORD protects the simplehearted;
when I was in great need, He saved me.

7 Be at rest once more, O my soul,
for the LORD has been good to you.

8 For you, O LORD, have delivered my soul from death,
my eyes from tears,
my feet from stumbling,
9 that I may walk before the LORD
in the land of the living.
10 I believed; therefore I said,
“I am greatly afflicted.”
11 And in my dismay I said,
“All men are liars.”

12 How can I repay the LORD
for all His goodness to me?
13 I will lift up the cup of salvation
and call on the name of the LORD.
14 I will fulfill my vows to the LORD
in the presence of all His people.

15 Precious in the sight of the LORD
is the death of His saints.
16 O LORD, truly I am Your servant;
I am Your servant, the son of Your maidservant;
You have freed me from my chains.

17 I will sacrifice a thank offering to You
and call on the name of the LORD.
18 I will fulfill my vows to the LORD
in the presence of all His people,
19 in the courts of the house of the LORD—
in your midst, O Jerusalem.
Praise the LORD.

Merry Christmas!

I’ve been busy just as many of us are in this season, but I wanted to wish everyone a wonderful Christmas & new year!

I pray that none of us will forget the truth & hope of this time of year — the worship, reflection, & gratitude to God for the sacrifice of His Son to make us free from sin & reconcile us to Him! Remember, if there was no Christmas — the birth of Christ — there’d be no Easter — the resurrection of Christ after death to end death’s sting for those who believe once & for all! I pray also for all those who come to truly know Jesus during this season as they are embraced in love & grace by God & begin their journeys as new believers.

I pray that we won’t be overwhelmed by the world’s ways of celebrating the season, the business of this time, & the stress that can come so easily. I pray that all of us are able to even more spend cherished time with family, & deeper, one-on-one time with God as the new year begins!

Blogs I’m Reading Tonight

Well, today has been a busy day of getting things done around the house, preparing to lead one of our worship services tomorrow, & also prep to play flute & whistle at a fellow worship leader’s church’s Christmas cantata out of town tomorrow evening. I’m finally winding down a little for the night, & trying to catch up with some of my fellow bloggers out there. Here are some highlights I hope will inspire, inform or entertain you:

• In The World, But Not In It? « inWorship
  In a world where many of us Christians tend to shelter ourselves, Brent asks the question: “What does it mean to be in the world but not of it?”

• Bringing Your Burdens To Worship « Milestone Worship
  Do you hide behind a faked smile at church when all you’re feeling is discouragement or despair? Jeremy talks about being honest even as you struggle when you worship God corporately.

• Some Personal Experiences « Steve Sensenig’s Theological Musings
  This comes from a friend & colleague of mine in the mountains of NC. He shares some beautiful testimonies of God’s amazing answers to prayers in his life.

• You Might Be Misrepresenting God If… « Steve Sensenig’s Theological Musings
  Another good one from Steve, this list is definitely worth reading.

I AM - West Side of the Wilderness

Back to it - Lisa’s I AM So You Don’t Have To Be Bible Study

An excerpt:

Girls, I have no way of knowing where you are in life. I simply know where I have been in mine. I have experienced difficult times in the past that I can look back on now as preparation periods for my ‘now’ ministry. When I have endured long times of waiting, it has always been followed by a time of an intense encounter with the Lord where He lit a fire to have me recognize to some extent the reason I had to go through that trial. That fire was not only for illumination but also for rejuvenation and restoration depending on what my state of mind was at the time.

Scriptures to read & study: Exodus 3:1-9 & Acts 7:30-35

Discussion Questions:

1. How current is your God? Is he up to date on all your issues or do you have old hurts you still hold behind your back?

God is definitely current in that He knows all there is to know about me, after all He made me! However, it is definitely my tendency to pick up past guilts & other burdens that were made clean by His Son’s sacrifice, & this is something I still struggle with more often than I’d like.

2. Has the enemy ever told you there are situations that are ‘old news’ that are better left stuffed down? Or perhaps because they were so long ago they can’t possibly be affecting you now?

Not that I don’t think, but more like the enemy trying to make me, as I said above, take on old burdens of past guilt or mistakes, whether the tiniest things or more than that. I’m so different than I feel I was in the past & have changed tremendously, but it’s the burdens of regret or guilt that can be used to get me down when they shouldn’t because of the Cross!

3. In the matter of established authority, does God truly reign in your life? Where are you when He calls your name?

I want it to be that way, for sure, but I so often try to take control, especially in times when I’m impatient or dealing with ‘unknowns’ - trusting God is something I’m still having to work on, but I hope that I’m improving! As I already mentioned, I too often try to take up the burdens that I’ve supposedly given to Him. Max Lucado’s book — Traveling Light — is a good one for any of us doing that in our lives!

4. Do you ever feel God has forgotten you in your ‘west side of the wilderness’?

Oddly enough, no. I think I blame myself usually for that! Another one of these things I am/need to work on!

5. Have you ever experienced a time of cleansing where God has illuminated and rejuvenated you? If not, do you find you are in need of this now?

When I was saved this began to happen for me in so many ways because of all the preconceived notions I had about myself, my life & the world. It continued again about six months later more deeply in my own understanding of things as well. I feel like I am in need of a time of cleansing & rejuvenation now as well, as I’ve been struggling far too much over the past few months with a lack of confidence & struggling with the balance of doing good & right by God but not getting legalistic on myself! It’s like I’ve been (& still am to an extent) going in circles, spiraling onward on the path but going back & forth, & I wish to get out of the spiral!

Processing, Musically That Is

Lately I’ve had a song that I accidentally started writing in my head. Looking at it now I see how it is a testimony of both my being saved & forever changed by God, & also of the current theme of His teaching me to further trust in Him & His love.

Needless to say, I don’t write songs or poetry much as I have in the past, mostly thanks to lack of time. I think this sounds better sung (it’s been stuck in my head all day, & that’s just odd to me), but so far, a chorus & bridge:

I never wanna go back
to who I once was
I never wanna go back -
Thank You, Lord, for changing me.
Forever You’ve changed me,
let me forever be changed
to who You’ve made me.

You call my name,
I seek Your face,
I feel Your love -
cleansing me.
You hold me up,
You keep me safe,
You teach me, Lord,
to trust in Your love.

I need verses …so bad with that. I also need to gain the ability to write out all the instrumental stuff playing along with this in my head… *sigh* That’s frustrating! How do you deal?

You’re All I Want

Lord, I don’t care anymore about the details, the music, the methods, about whatever goes into doing church. I want only to be at Your feet, lying with my face at Your feet. I want to let my tears of brokenness for our church, my ache for the needed unity, my gratitude for Your grace, my frustration at anything or anyone who isn’t rightly motivated for You & You alone.

I’m tired, I’m weary. I don’t even care who’s by my side, I don’t even know if I want anyone by my side. I just want You, time alone with You away from all the things of life that are distracting me. I’m tired of doing church. Church! Usual is over. (Someone at a worship gathering Saturday night shared that the Lord spoke this to them recently.)

I’m sick of formalities, so-called traditions & scheduled-ness! You can’t put God in a box or time constraints — He owns & made even time itself!

I’m sick of life, church & even me as usual. I only want You, so engulfing me that I can’t even breathe anything of myself & only You & what You ordain.

I want to be used by You, & I want to see others used by You as well. I want to be at Your feet, worshiping You in spirit & in truth, in tears of joy or tears of heartache, in truth that I can’t even worship You in absolute truth because I’m imperfect, sinful & incapable of it by my fallen nature, but worshiping You all the more because You love me anyway & I want to give back even when I have nothing of worth to offer.

I’m sick of anything that isn’t You. I feel poisoned by it! I just want You, to be at Your feet on my face! I just want You!